Sunday, October 11, 2009

this winter is a little impatient

.....oh i hate cracking jokes about my last name, but sometimes they slip out.

I think this is my first time in a VERY LONG TIME that I've been able to kick back and relax both personally and professionally, and.....I'm bored. Of course you can't take work away from a workaholic without withdrawl any more than you can take herion away from an addict.

While August was jammed full of artistic endeavors, September was chocked full of social engagements. In addition to the Jettison Quarterly release, at the same time my cousin from the UK and her boyfriend came and stayed with me for a good part of a week (which considering my full time job and the fact that I live in what amounts to a total hole in the wall starving artist's crash pad, had me runnin around like a chicken with its head cut off), then the following week I pretty much didn't sleep for 3 nights to throw together a dress to wear to my cousin's wedding, which we drove up to Minneapolis the morning of the wedding....
There's me on the left there. Made it from a Nancy Reagan esque beaded skirt and then cut a bunch of bias strips of the gabardine left over from Fred's suit jacket for the top part. oh and most of it was handsewn on the car ride there....

And then the following weekend was my birthday. So let me preface with the fact that until my previous birthday, all years before had been atrocious, generally meeting with some horrible emotional trauma or utter disappointment. Last year was peaceful and joyous, yet nothing exciting. I've never been one to be like, Wooo its my birthday lets partay all week, but seeing as it was actually on a Monday, I had a few days of celebration, a goodbye sotospeak of my year I got my act together, and a welcoming of the first year of official adult mode.
So the best way to get people to not bother you on the cta is to open up your purse and start pulling feathers out everywhere and then start pinning a bunch of needles and other sharp impliments to your clothes. no fat woman is gonna try to share that bench with you any time soon. Hard to tell in the photo because I was leaning forward on a particularly uncomfortable ottoman, but I've lost so much weight that this dress that once barely fit at all, had to be taken in 2 inches on both sides, hemmed 4 inches because it was hanging down past my knees, and now i can actually button those cuffs around my upper arm, and I had a whole other button undone at the bust and I wasn't spilling out of the dress. Kinda makes me wish I could go back in time to all the times I had such a terrible self image and no self esteem and just show myself what's possible.

So since i've lost so much weight (i've sort of settled at about a 6/7ish, having been at my worst in college a 12, but at my last birthday I'd say i was like a 9/10, and at 13 I was my worst at a 16 to 18. If i stopped the starbucks drinkin and dropped a bit more of the junk food binges I am occasionally guilty of [whole box of poptarts in a day is my worst, but then again I make up for it by biking a lot the next day] I could probably make it down to a solid 6, I'd like to get to a 4 though and maybe squeeze my tush into some of the leather stuff i made for my thesis once upon a time) none of my fall clothes fit. And it seemed about the right time for a total image change, since last year I was trying to ride through the winter for the first time and was all about gigantic oversized cosby sweaters, unflattering mom jeans, and scuffed up and muddy knee high boots. When I was pulling out my fall clothes I packed away in a box when I moved down to pilsen, I tried on everything and felt like a kid trying to wear adult clothes. A pair of high waisted size 6 jeans that I bought like a year ago at a thrift store as a joke, that couldn't get up over my thighs back in March, zipped right up, with room to spare in the seat. So I scrambled through the wardrobe, gave away a good large trash bag sized pile of clothes, and started sewin away some new stuff.

At the same time I got some new glasses. I've been a four eyes for over a decade now and I always hated wearing my glasses. Frankly for the past 2 years I wore my contacts just about all the time. I had heard about some websites that sell super cheap glasses so I checked them out and bought these puppies from, prescription lenses, antiscratch coating, and shipping for only $65. I got another pair that are black and more square but equally large and nerdy from for only $40. Last fall and winter I'd sum up my color pallet as purple, medium grey, black, and cerulean blue. This year its rust, steel blue, navy, cream, charcoal, and a light cool grey. As you can see from that first photo, I'm definitely goin for a total nerdy look, I'm callin my whole look for this winter (biking and all) Buddy Holly Goes Deer Hunting.

I'm going to refuse to buy anything new (asides essentials like socks n that shtuff) for my whole 23rd year on this earth, so either thrifted clothes, garments I've sewn from scratch, or chimera garments from used and new materials. Its definitely something I've toyed with doing for a while, but this week alone i've slapped out quite a few garments for only a few bucks a pop (thank you remnants table at Vogue fabrics) and its giving me the flat patternmaking kick in the ass I needed. I actually came across this blog where a chick is making absolutely everything she's wearing for the next year, underwear, shoes and all. Its a super inspiration, and I'm going to figure out how to set up my camera to take some good polariod style shots of what I make for myself.

well, now what to do for the very rapidly approaching winter? I'm sort of perched on this fence right now, one side is grad school applications, the other is starting my own line and really goin all out to the point where I don't need a day job to pay the rent. Both roads are hard and harsh, and both involve gettin my butt in line and making a full rounded portfolio. That would be it then, charging ahead with both routes and getting everything together. Needless to say, I'm excited about it all. Five years ago, at my worst hour, I never once thought I'd ever be here, and I'm proud of myself for all the pitfalls it took to get here. My birthday wishes this year were not for love or happiness or material things as they have been in the past, it was for absolute success.

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