random electronic binges

quite frankly, things have fucking sucked. i can't word it any better. i've been in and out of the hospital a lot lately. lots of tests. still at least one more to go. I got taken off birth control after being on it since i was 16 and now i'm officially insane. i flipped off my favorite teacher today and stormed out of his class only to come skipping back in 5 minutes later. i rode to school in 13 minutes today, a ride that normally takes me at least 20, 25 if i'm lazy. basically i blew through every light and was going about 20mph the whole time. my arm has been jacked for a week now. i finally don't have stabbing pains shooting up and down today, although its just as sore.

as for personal life, that's just as messed up. and it doesn't help that i have about 5 years of pms dumped on me in the past few weeks.....dealing with an ex should go better if it wasn't for me acting so damned erratic. and i would be a total C U Next Tuesday about the other one in my usual style, but shit has hit the fan and i don't know how to touch that.

my computer got erased. that was fun. lost pretty much my whole music library. all 20GB of it.

fuck.

so i've been downloading new music instead of replacing the old. i'm on this big indie eletronica kick for some reason. i guess i would rather enjoy computer made noises and patterns than that of instruments. something about the mathamatical nature of it speaks to me. that and it lends itself to a fashion-ish mindset well. it would be sweet if we got to pick out our own music for senior thesis at fashion columbia like they do at the art institute. i'd find something so absolutely obscure that there'd be one audio freak shitting his pants in the back somewhere.

ugh so tomorrow i have the photo shoot for my DIGITAL PHOTO FOR NON MAJORS class. i get the feeling i'm going to be on my own despite some promises for help. perhaps thats better that way. i'll just fuck it up when i do color correcting. i'd like to think that more than one aspect of my future hangs on what happens exactly tomorrow.

i've been biking a lot, doing all the dog walking. i'm so tired all the time, i think that's why i'm not making any sort of sense.

i'll put up the photos over the weekend. if i get my laptop back soon enough.....